I’ve been procrastinating lately. Did I ever mention how much I love writer’s block? Probably not because I’d forgotten how frustrating it can be. But I’m also kind of giddy to find myself in this position again because it means that I’M WRITING!!!!!
I did redo my about page in an attempt to feel productive and it worked for a little while….
But lately I’ve thinking a lot (more than usual if that’s even possible) about where I want to go with this blog. I’m pushing 38 and have been in the writing scene for a long time. From zines to blogs to my stint with poem collages, I’ve pretty much seen it all. Then I took a long break from blogging and over the last few months have come to find that the blogging world has changed.
One glaring observation is the branding that’s going on. It’s enough to make you feel inferior right out of the gate! I remember reading blogs about what was going on in the day-to-day of people’s lives. What they thought about things. What inspired them. Some cool book or movie or record they had stumbled upon. (Sans the commission link.) And it’s still that way to a certain extent but I find it’s harder for me to stay engaged as soon as I feel like I’m being sold something. Be it actual products or a theory.
Disclaimer time: I have nothing wrong with entrepreneurial ingenuity and admire those who set out to do exactly that with their blogs. I just like transparency.
Where I’m coming from is when I read a blog post or I see a picture of an outfit, I not only want to be inspired, I also want to be able to relate and I want to see that outfit out walking the streets. Isn’t that why we visit blogs in the first place?
I understand it’s the era of instant celebrity. (Hey, even I have an Instagram account.) But honestly, why does everything have to be so perfect from the start? Where is the organic evolution? I love blogs that show a crack in the seams. The blurry pictures, the obviously previously worn clothing, the children’s toys all over the floor in the background. the flowers well past their prime and even the neighbors rusting, half buried, blackberry vine-covered 1987 Ford Escort in the driveway next door!
It makes me want to come back for more because I feel secure in knowing that somewhere out there is someone who would understand my hard, uninspiring day.
And that is why I’ve been having writer’s block. I find myself thinking of all of these blogs that are technically competition and I get sucked in like anyone else would. I wonder if my blog name is too hard to remember or spell or that if I don’t build an arsenal of series posts for the sole purpose of driving traffic to my blog will I just be wasting my time? I buy into the pressure, freak out, then step back and tell myself the truth:
It’s just not me.
And more recently I’ve added:
Hey Meadow! That’s okay.
I’m a writer and I’m a wanderer. I love walking the streets, seeing history stamped on the buildings and experiencing life. I love music and words and talking to people. I love seeing different places and being in the moments that make my life. I love life for all of its imperfection and all of its growth. And that’s what I want to present to the blogging world.
The greatest compliment I have ever received while writing came recently from someone who follows Gray Grisette. She shared my post about the community garden in my neighborhood that I wrote this summer on her Facebook page, thanked me and told me that reading my words helped her to relax.
I’ll never forget that feeling and it wasn’t pride, it was the honor of making someones day better.
I want my experiences on this planet to help people. Be it relaxing, finding a new/different way to do or see things or just enjoying my quirky outlook and way of dressing.
So I think that I will toss out trying to formulate a plan and go with what I know:
Good, bad and perfectly human.