I’ve never been one to formulate New Year’s resolutions. I’ve always felt like I would be setting myself up for failure. I mean sure I’ve thought about them who doesn’t? But it’s always just a fleeting thought. I would rather make small every day changes and have them turn into standing habits.
I read somewhere once that it takes 6 weeks to break or form a habit. Six weeks are a good amount of time to dedicate yourself to anything. For some reason I personally have a harder time with week opposed to day countdowns. Something about a bunch of lesser units making up a whole unit. Seems more intimidating. Time is such an interesting concept. I’m turning 38 at the end of the month. I can’t even wrap my head around THAT little factoid. Not because I care about getting older or that I’m vain but because I just like being alive.
Sure, I’ve had hard days but I’ve had some stellar days too. I’ve done a lot of soul-searching over the last decade of my life and I’ve learned to……. Not necessarily focus on just the positive but to give proper credit to both negative and positive. All of my days make up who I am.
Recently I received a photo of myself when I was a newly minted 15 year old. I looked into my eyes and thought of all the things that little girl had been through since that photo was taken. Things she never would have imagined. A lot of them beyond her control, things she was too young to comprehend.
And so I got angry, who wouldn’t? I developed a defense mechanism. I hid behind my clothes, my hair, my personality. I also happened to inherit a sharp tongue coupled with lightning quick wit and boy did I hone my craft. My mother used to say that I would embed emotional shrapnel in people. They wouldn’t feel the magnitude of what I said for years. I got to the point where I got tired of the banter and the facade.
And that’s when I realized that I had a lot to do with how I was perceived and that was no one’s fault but my own. I wanted people (other then those few who successfully scaled my walls) to recognize that I was so much more then an angry girl. I needed to stop focusing on the past and the future. I needed to stop being pissed about my present. I needed to grow up and do something about it.
So I did.
Enter looking in the mirror.
Enter hard work.
Like I said earlier, I’ve spent the better part of my 30’s working on myself and truthfully am only just now starting to see the fruits of my labor. I’m a firm believer that today is all we have and each morning that we wake up we make the choice of how to spend our day. If you think about it, we really aren’t the same person from day to day. Not even from morning to evening. Events form us and experience changes our perception. We are in constant change. So I choose to make resolutions every day. They vary across a wide playing field, ranging from what I say to how I react to what I eat.
Call them micro-resolutions if you will.
And so every New Year’s Day I tend to just be. I sit back and spend the day doing what I want to do at that given moment. If that includes eating a bag of chips and sitting on the couch all day or hauling my ass out the door for a five-mile run so be it. I know that change is inevitable and that I’m the steward of which direction it goes. Each choice I make has an effect on my day and then my days add up, my micro-resolutions add up and I end up with direction in my life that is solely captained by me be it good or bad. As long as I’m responsible to myself, others and the planet I think I’ll be okay.
Happy New Year everyone!
May this coming year bring you peace and happiness on a daily basis.