Just found this in my drafts. I still feel the same but don’t ponder the past as much. I’m learning to embrace my present. Ultimately it’s all we have.
It’s 2013 right?
Well thought I’d try this whole writing thing again. I don’t really know what I think about New Year’s resolutions. I mean maybe we are setting ourselves up for failure by saying “I’m going to do this” and “I’m going to do that”. Why add pressure? Don’t we have enough anyway in this day and age? Pressure to be smart enough, efficient enough, thin enough, pretty enough. ENOUGH already! I can’t turn on anything without a barrage of things that I should be and by what age I should be them. I thought we were moving past this, accepting everyone for the unique special person that they are. So is the message that we all have to be uber special now? That’s how I feel. Is anyone out there with me? I look at all the kitsch, all the clever and I feel sometimes that if I don’t perform, if I want to just be a straight forward person that day, there is something not so special about me.
I wonder where we all will be in 20 years. I remember 1993 well. I was 15 years old and living in Seattle. Walking around totally disaffected in my Doc Martens. There were no cell phones, no I-anything, no social media. If you wanted to write a blog type thing you started a zine and trucked yourself down to Kinko’s to spend countless hours at the copy machine. Anyone with a pager usually was either a doctor or a dealer. I miss getting lost for hours. If I were in a traffic jam, no one knew where I was. I wonder if any kind of anonymity is going survive technology.